Press reset and choose happy

I have been taking a break from the blog. Duh, it's been months since my last post so I guess most of you have figured that out and probably moved on to far more interesting blogs since I've literally disappeared. I don't blame you. In short, in the last few months I have been through a great deal on many fronts, and I only had so much energy for so many things at once. Plus, you know me, I don't like to come here to moan about my life or my health so why bother you with that.

I am now ready to take up writing again, especially as I have missed my friends here and I feel like I'm finally looking at things from the bright side. Yes, the bright side. That's my big change for 2017. Not a resolution, no, more a new life mantra.

Basically, I took a long hard look at myself and my life and here is what I have found out. I arrived at the grand old age of  36 years old (yes I know, here you were all thinking I can't be a day older than 25... jk) feeling tired,  undervalued, mostly unhappy with myself and what I'd achieved so far and often wondering why I didn't stand up for myself more. Although I'd ploughed on for years in this situation, 2016 was the year I decided to stop and press the reset button. What came at the end is a totally blank slate from which to decide, each day, to be happy and proud of who I am.

So, of course I didn't wake up one day and decide I'd be some hare krishna life guru for all to follow (thankfully...) and I have no claims on helping people achieve their own happy, but as this has been very much a diary over the years, here is what works for me.

1) Choose what makes you happy, discard the rest. Sounds ruthless? Maybe, but it's quite liberating to choose to do things which will help me grow, to be with people who will pull me up instead of pushing me down... Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean to choose easy, it means embrace what will contribute positively to your life and that of your loved ones, and don't bother yourself with what will only make you miserable. In practice, it means saying yes to that Psycle class at 8:00AM on Saturday since it's the one that works best for the family schedule and your booty shape (!), ignoring the toxic vibes of people who are not in my corner, and saying no to that fluffy scone calling my name from the bakery counter as it will bring me massive gluten intolerance within minutes...

2) On the topic of corners... Know who is in your corner (that's quite easy to figure out, for instance it's the people calling you in the morning when they know you are feeling low to ask you for breakfast, not the ones misrepresenting you and walking all over you), and spend a lot of time with those people. They will help you feel grounded, happy, and will motivate you to push on to become the best person you can. So, thank you Nicolas, Emma, Ale, Cat, Hind, Hanaa, and so many others whom I cannot name here for being firmly in Sandra's corner. I see these people as much as I can, and if it means crossing town for a quick cup of coffee with one of them then this is what I will do. The others, well, darlings, life is too short to be around people who don't like or respect you, they can go sit on a cactus for all I care. Chapter closed, book thrown on the charity pile for discarding.

3) Set yourself goals, don't tell anyone about them, and smash them. Before my little reset, my health  had taken a couple of massive hits and though I didn't take them for the awakenings I should have, it did bother me that I wasn't at my healthiest if only because I want to be around long enough to see my children graduate from university and start living their own grown-up adventure! Also, as a lover of fashion I know that a dress always looks better on a smaller fitter body, it's a simple fact (as much as we'd all like to believe the opposite). I set myself to becoming the fittest I could, which basically means working out every day if I can and eating a much more balanced diet, and the results are here. I am at my healthiest possible whilst still enjoying treats like my gargantuan brunch spreads at home and the not so rare glass of red wine or bubbly. I have set some other goals, but these are WIP still so stay tuned for the developments!

4) Be kind to yourself. Remember, noone is responsible for your own happiness besides yourself, so be kind. Don't talk yourself down, when at first you don't succeed be your own motivation coach, and when you do remember to treat yourself. Movie night with the kids on a Thursday, a facial, that dress from Zimmermann's new collection, a trip, or simply a cup of your must-have drink at your favourite spot. Just make the time and effort to do it.

5) Your way is the way. I'll finish with this: with all the social media, blogs, celebrities etc, you could be fooled to think that to be happy you must do that special work-out everyone is on, eat vegan or insectarian or whatever fad diet is trending, and behave a certain way. Well, I'm sure you know but for me it took getting to this point to finally decide that there is no right way, just my way. It applies to health, parenting, socialising, and pretty much everything although  you'll be happy to hear that my way doesn't involve anything illegal or remotely unsocial such as harming others, which is good right?

Anyways dear friends enough philosophy from now. I'm so glad to be  back, expect more fashion, lifestyle and recipes in the coming weeks... Big kisses.


Anonymous said...

Welcome back!
I went to a talk last night on resilience - we are all so much more resilient than we think! Well done making life changes and looking amazingxx
Sam - Kensington Pilates

Stephanie said...

Welcome back and I'm so happy to read lots more from you in the coming weeks and months!

Thank you for this post - so much resonates with what I currently experience, think and feel. My 40th Bday next Wednesday is not helping either. Thanks for inspiring me, give me some food for thoughts and being here for me, even if it's "only" at a distance. xoxo

Alexandre Mahu said...

Glad you are back writing here!
A lot of food for thoughts and inspiring points- thanks

Pauline x

Anonymous said...

Welcome back. You have been missed and it's soo good to hear from you.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! Very positive and inspiring post.

Coulda shoulda woulda said...

Good for you and wishing you a fab 2017!

Marie said...

Welcome back, I'm really happy to see you back at it. And thank you so much for writing this post, it really struck a chore with me and I appreciate it. I could use all the positive vibes in my life. Thanks for the inspiration!

frifri63 said...

Hello Dear S
So happy to see that you are back, looking great and fit and motivated by your new expectations in life.
I got my epiphany when I lost my mother and the big 4-0 was around the corner. Do what makes you the most happy, life is short.
I missed your posts, just read about Tulum... so I am having a great start for the weekend! Bises à toi

Anonymous said...

Sandra, I've followed you on Insta while you've paused your blog.
This is a fabulous post, and a lovely reminder of what is real in life.
I often remind my self and my little family, that there are many people who would swop their lives for ours- and that whatever hiccups today brings, it isn't starvation or war or annihilation.

I especially like how you remind us that the people we spend time with can be toxic or rocket-fuel; it can be so easy to fall under the spell of people who are not good for us.
Looking forward to hearing what you're new move is- best of luck!

Anonymous said...

good to read you again, this change in your life seems like smth i need to do with mine, i just do not have the courage or energy to do it. you know, important corporate job, 2 kids, one with development problems, no time for myself, no time for friends and for the husband even. may be one day...
good for you that you are doing this, its truly not simple and so important. looking forward to see more outfits on this page.